Talking with Children about Tragedy
Helping Children and Adolescents
Children are just as affected as adults are by a traumatic event. Some may be affected more than others, but this may be difficult to recognize. Children need to hear that it is normal to feel frightened or confused in these situations.
Signs of stress include:
- Sadness and anxiety.
- Outbursts and tantrums.
- Aggressive behavior.
- Hostility.
- Guilt.
- A return to outgrown behaviors.
- Stomachaches and headaches.
- A desire to stay home or away from friends.
These reactions are normal, and usually don’t last long. No matter what your child’s age, there is a lot you can do to help.
Preschooler
- Stick to regular family routines.
- Make an extra effort to provide comfort and reassurance.
- Avoid unnecessary separations.
- Encourage expression of feelings through play, drawings and story telling.
- Limit media exposure.
Elementary School Age Children
- Provide extra attention and consideration.
- Set gentle but firm limits for acting-out behavior.
- Listen and be patient with your child’s retelling of events.
- Encourage expression of thoughts and feelings through conversation and play.
- Provide home chores and activities that are structured, but not too demanding.
- Point out kind deeds and the ways in which people are helping each other.
Pre-adolescents and Adolescents
- Provide extra attention and consideration.
- Be there to listen, but don’t force them to talk about feelings and emotions.
- Encourage them to talk with their friends.
- Urge them to participate in physical, recreational and social activities.
- Encourage them to be involved in helping the community recover.
When to Seek Professional Help
Children are amazingly flexible, even though they are deeply affected by an event. Sometimes a child can be helped by a counselor who can provide a safe place to talk about what happened and share their feelings. Getting professional help is a good idea if a child shows any of the following changes for longer than three months.
- Angry outbursts.
- Withdrawal from usual social activities or play with other children.
- Frequent nightmares or other sleep disturbances.
- Alcohol or drug use.
- Dangerous risk-taking behavior.
- Continued worry about the event as a primary focus in life.
Links
Tips for Talking to Children After a Disaster: A Guide for Parents and Teachers
Contact Information
- 24-Hour Confidential Support Hotlines
Howard Center for Human Services
863-2400
- First Call for Children & Families
864-7777
- Northwestern Counseling
1-800-834-7793